My school — in a modern architecture magazine

Carl Sandburg Elementary School by NAC | Architecture

Click picture for link.

This place you see above? My school. My library is lit-up section in the top right. I’m actually in there right now 🙂

Years ago, Dan said I should be a librarian. I believe my exact words were: “Uh…no.” Well, I’m eating those words now 🙂 Happily, too. Folks, I love my job. I. love. my. job.

I just… I can’t believe it. As a kid, I never even pictured myself in a job — much less a career — and I certainly never saw working as something to be enjoyed.

But here I am, thriving in this environment. Well, “thriving” in the sense that I’m trying really hard and enjoying myself while making many mistakes. I certainly have a lot to learn. I would never have believed it if I didn’t live it, but this school librarian job is HARD.

I just can’t believe it sometimes. That I found a job that I am so content in. I don’t count down the hours until my shift is up. Or stare at the calendar waiting for the holidays. I don’t rush out as soon as I can. In past jobs, when I’ve had a stressful day, I had to relocate asap. But here, I’m HAPPY to stay. I end a stressful day by sitting my favorite corner and reading a book.

This — this life that I’m living — it’s the dream I never knew I had. We live half-forest, half-city. Dan works his dream job. I unknowingly waltzed into what was my dream job. We successfully transitioned to vegan. We are both working on personal projects which are cool. The public libraries here are mind-blowingly fantastic. The weather is every color of gorgeous. The cats are purrfect. I even have my very own reading nook at home now!

Of course, there are downsides. And because I’d be jealous of myself if I read this post, I’m going to post some to bring this full circle for you. Let’s see. Downsides… Ah, yes. We don’t have any friends. We have coworkers, but no one to call if we got in a car accident. This is actually a gaping hole in our life. I want friends, but as usual, I hate getting out of my comfort zone and putting in the work to make friends. I’ve even shiied away from invites — it’s cool that we got invites from other-married-couples, I guess, but also all the more worse because we haven’t followed through. As mormons, the social circle side of life was usually taken care of for us…and now we don’t really know how to navigate the social sphere without it. I’ve even looked into some churches (I know, right?), trying to find one that’s more all-inclusive, but haven’t had any luck.

How does one go about making/infiltrating a circle of friends…?  We need other couples to hang out with. I’d love some girlfriends. What am I saying? I’d settle for one. One girl that I could go out to brunch with and freely double-dip french fries with. Right now, my besties are 5th grade girls who haunt the library during every recess to tell me how wonderful I am (which — let’s be honest — is great, but the reality comes in when I have to remind them to not play tag between bookshelves).

See? Told you this would come full circle. The super happy part where we both have great great jobs, and the other part, where we only hang out with each other.

I’ve been taking the ostrich approach with the whole friend thing. It’s easy enough; I enjoy my own company. So, I’ve kept my head in the sand, hoping that eventually friends will be dropped into my lap. But I don’t think that’s what’s going to happen this time. Which means I can’t half-ass my friendships anymore. And — confession– I don’t remember how to be a friend. I don’t know how to make connections with people anymore. I used to, I think. I just … I just don’t know. Maybe joining in activism — shared goal, shared dream… and then, voila, connection? …?

I don’t know.



2 responses to “My school — in a modern architecture magazine

  • Miri

    Camilla! I AM so so so jealous, but also so happy for you and also can totally empathize. We do have a set of friends here in Texas, but we only see them about once a month, sometimes more, sometimes less. And since our dream is to one day leave Texas forever (and hopefully move to Seattle!) I have thought a lot about the fact that we totally suck at making friends. How will we ever find new ones? We’re sort of in the same position as you now, and if we ever move away from our friends here, we will be even more so. Unless we do move to Seattle, in which case WE will be your friends again, and you can be ours. 🙂

    Really, though, it’s so great that you found your dream job. I stumbled into librarying kind of the same way, and when I did I felt stupid for never having realized before that that was what I wanted to do. This is the first time in my life that I have LOVED my job, and it is such an amazing feeling.

  • Sabrina Gardner

    I’m so glad you love what you’re doing, and both of you too! I just found your food blog (from Lindsay’s plea for help) and it looks great. We’re not vegan but up for trying new things. Your pictures look great there, by the way! I found that there are a couple facebook groups for moms in Pittsburgh. People have posted little intros of themselves and people get together and meet others who have that one thing in common (being a mom :)). You might check and see if there are groups like that in Seattle. Maybe try taking a class together? Matt and I did some dancing lessons, and that was fun and an interesting way to meet others. Good luck, being new to a place is always really hard, and it usually takes me a year or so before I feel more like I fit in and find a niche somewhere. We talked about moving to Seattle (hello, tech world…) but Silicon valley is probably where we’ll end up, at least this summer anyway. Anyway, hope it goes well and you can start to have some good friends there. I miss our talks.

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