When I got out of the gym this morning, state street and the mountains and sky looked so … so open. Pretty, I thought. And then I started the process of thinking about the all the things I had to do today–you know, the usual morning(afternoon,andevening) routine. But then….
Then, I realized, it was blank.
I don’t have anything to do today. It’s my last day of graduate school. I don’t have any work to do. No projects or papers or e-mails or meetings.
This isn’t exactly a surprise; it’s not like I didn’t know exactly when down to the hour the semester would be over. But today, perhaps because the mountains seemed to emphasize how open the valley was, I just realized how open my life is.
I’m… I’m done.
As in, done.
As in, no more school. What a bitter-sweet experience! I think the tears that came were as confused as I was about whether I was happy and immensely proud or whether I was a little bit lost, and a lot sad.
What am I going to do now? I guess, the rest of my life. I have everything before me now — I can go take those guitar lessons and learn how to ride a horse and help people in a library and read all the childrens books I want and, and, and!
Oh, god. I feel like I’ve been given the moon and I don’t quite know what to do with it.