Well hello there Kadi and Lindsay. You may have just opened a can of worms…
“Having experienced this for myself firsthand, here’s my suggestion for finding a purpose… pick something. You are no longer accountable to professors or bosses – you are your own boss. Write down goals for your hobby, side job, morning, etc. … So pick something.”
Kadi, that’s exactly my point: homebodies* are constantly on the search for a purpose. It’s a great victory (and relief) to find that SOMETHING to do — to make meals for RS members, to find that project on pinterest, to be busy. That incessant attempt to fill the empty days with something of purpose…it’s not right. I’ll address this later in the post. And let me be crystal clear: I’M NOT ATTACKING HOUSEWIVES; I am attacking the system.
Which brings me to Lindsay’s comment:
“Here’s my question for you: You say, “without being given Responsibility, those are just some very big, very empty, words.” Who gives or is supposed to give this Responsibility to women?”
Trust YOU to nail down on what I was trying to be so tidily vague about. There’s a cycle I’ve witnessed these last few years in Utah — the ferris wheel of women’s self-worth. We go up and we go down, and we seemingly have no control over it. But we** do realize that, regardless of where we are on the ferris wheel, about every six months, we’re suddenly on top of the world. Why? Well, because God’s spokesman told us we are important. “You are so important!” [they] say. “You are needed, and special, and God’s greatest creation. You are so valuable!”
Go with me on a tangent. Last night I watched a western called “The Magnificent Seven.”(Mexican community begs the help of American gunmen to save their village from marauders.) As I watched this movie with my (mexican) father, a little ball of anger grew and hardened in my chest. Why?? That subliminal racism! (not to mention that sickening nationalism!) Don’t see it yet? Let’s turn the tables around: Suddenly it’s Mexican gunmen saving the desperate white, American farmers.
Have we found the next box-office hit?? I don’t think so.
[I need a disclaimer before I we go further in this discussion: It is not my intention to offend anyone. I only want to share, in a free-thinking conversation, how I feel. No hidden attack here.]
I’ve heard dozens and dozens of Conference talks directed to women — pep-talks, I call I them. They build women’s spirits and make us feel so important! But, we’ve grown dependent; Relief Society General Meetings have become a collective group of drug-users staring red-eyed for the next big hit (I believe “Forget Me Not” was this year’s). Someone lights the match, we women all breathe in, and suddenly our “high” equates to communing with diety. (Something to think about: Christ didn’t spend His time on earth telling everyone how “special” they were. )
That effect is what we LDSers try to achieve whenever there is a gathering of women (and if we reach it, SUCCESS!). But, we’re just putting the bandaid on the bullet-wound — stops the bleeding, by there’s no eradication of the real problem.
But the men…where is their constant stream of pep-talk? Humor me and do a little activity and turn the tables. Listen to a General RS Broadcast talk, and picture it as if it was being given to a group of … men.
[waiting for you to do it….]
Whoa — jarring much? (If you’re not jarred, that’s another issue entirely.) Think about it. Come to your own conclusions.
So, Lindsay, back to the issue at hand. Responsibility. Women are constantly told about their own importance and value… But have you noticed? Nothing has changed. Nothing in this great, God-led community has actually created a lasting change in the collective of women’s self-worth. Why? Because we’re just a bunch of yellow wall-paperers. Pat ’em on the head, lay ’em in the bed … and keep telling them how special they are.
I don’t blame the men. Or the women. Or the community. I don’t blame anyone. I just don’t like the way things are.
Men, collectively, don’t need the pep talks. Why would they? You KNOW you’re trusted when you are asked to pilot the plane. The words “I trust/love/value you” are superfluous at the point.
So my beef, Lindsay, is that women are not at the point. Those words SHOULD be superfluous — but no matter the fact that our wombs act as little carrier planes — those words are still the fuel our smiles run on.
Well, I still managed to be vague, didn’t I? Eh. This new religious stance of mine is like wearing a new pair of running shoes — no matter how perfectly they fit, blisters are inevitable, so I’m going to tread lightly.
But in the meantime, where are the holes in my reasoning? If I’m going to believe something (again), then it needs to be Right. And, besides, I need something to mull over this holiday season…
*separate and distinct from: housewives
**I say “we” only for the sake of rhetoric